Senior dating over 50 is fairly uncommon these days according to both recent surveys as well as Today, with only 18% of those surveyed actively dating. The largest majority have not begun to date as a matter of making a statement that they do not need a mate to be complete or for simply not finding the time to incorporate dating into their current life schedule.
Of the 18% of senior people that are over 50 dating many describe the pre-senior date jitters being just like those experienced as teenagers. Oh yippee, the knowledge that so much of senior dating reverts those 50-plus to pre-adolescence dating stages again is not something promising to look forward.
A few seniors dating over 50 that I know personally have found a dating companion, of which I learned while writing this, is very unhealthy. They would be the ones that have bonded due to areas of negatives or bad things that they have had in the past. One couple that came to mind the fastest have the common bond of relationship abuses that have tied them together. These relationships are said to be PBB or premature baggage bonding relationships.
Another couple of seniors dating over 50 that I know, I just learned, are in what is referred to as a pinging relationship. What is pinging? I know I personally had to ask that question. Pinging is when an a person, the female in this instance, is always waiting around for the random visit, message or call. When a call or message is sent, the other person is checking how long it takes to get a reply back, if at all. Often referred to as keeping the person on a leash until you have time to bestow them until the next ping visit.
Sadly, in regards to the two above couples, it is apparent to those not in the situation that they will not be senior dating for the long haul. Negative bonding, as they both obviously have, will never produce a positive anything.
Hope however is not lost. Many happy couples meet and form bonds on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. To be happy and healthy once you have returned to the dating arena just keep the following in clear vision.
- Like and respect yourself. Those around you have no choice but to treat you in the same manner. Being a senior does not mean that you must lower your standards or act a fool to get attention, besides is that the attention you really want in the first place?
- Make and set personal boundaries. These can be anything that will make sure that you keep yourself in focus and a priority. This could be no weeknight dating, no sleepovers for the first six months, or simply not going to dine at a place you do not like.
- Do not have sex until you are 100% ready. Just like your mom used to tell you when you were still a teenager. If a person truly cares they will have no issue getting to know you until you are ready. A strong and close friendship makes for a long-term healthy relationship!
- If he says that he will call, and he does not call in the first eight days, do not call him back. You are not twenty anymore, you know that there is an obvious reason for his lack of a call. Once you have properly calmed down you will be so much happier with yourself.
- Act like the grown-up that you are. This does not mean that you cannot have any fun, it just means that by reaching the golden age of 50-plus you have learned a lot of valuable information and lessons along the way. Use that to your advantage. You will be overjoyed when you have done so.